You’re Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

IMG_20160523_192503As a new teacher I was excited to get to know other teachers on my grade level team. So many of them had taught children for several years and I was just beginning. I was anxious to tap into their wealth of knowledge.  By making myself approachable, helpful, and inquisitive I easily got along with all of my co-workers, except for one teacher.

No matter what I did she wouldn’t warm up to me. She never said “good morning” or “hello”. I always had to greet her first. If I walked past her in the hallway she didn’t acknowledge me. When I came into the teachers lounge she pretended I wasn’t there. At first I didn’t give it much thought, but as school year advanced, it began to eat away at me.

Had I done something to offend her?

Had I unknowingly said something to cause her to dislike me?

How could I fix it? How could I get her to like me?

While this was happening, a new couple moved into our congregation. I was eager to be friends with them and was quick to show hospitality. However, much to my dismay, the same personal interest that I showed to them was not returned. The often wife invited other families to her home, but she never invited my family.

I was heartbroken. I was sure I was responsible. What had I done now? Was I such a terrible person? What was it about me that was such a big turn off? I cried myself to sleep in frustration.

The next morning I felt foolish.  I’m a married woman, not a teenager! I was being irrational and oversensitive. I decided to chin up. It took a lot of will power to ignore my insecurities and the nagging voice that ate away at my heart. I said a prayer and slowly gained peace of mind. Before leaving my home that morning, I decided to continue showing friendliness to everyone even if they didn’t like me back.

Time passed. Weeks became months and months became years. During that time, I came to know both ladies so much better. Friendships cannot be rushed. They bloom in their own time. Now my family and the new family in our congregation have become good friends. Our daughters love playing together too! She never had a problem with me, she just prefeered smaller groups of friends at her home, and didnt have the space for more people. As for school, my co-worker now greets me on occassion. We are not close friends, but we enjoy a respectful work relationship.  Here I was thinking she didn’t like me, but she was consumed with her own issues. She has nothing against me and I have nothing against her. We are just two different people from two different backgrounds. We have very little in common. We don’t click, and that’s okay.

From these two experiences I’ve learned a very important lesson. I tried to put it in words, but couldn’t say it just right. When I came across this post on social media it struck a cord in my heart, and I knew I just had to share.

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My friends, be the best person you can be everyday. Show love to everyone, not because they’ve shown love to you, but because that’s the type of person you are. It’s the right thing to do.  (Romans 12:10) It isn’t immature to feel disappointed when others don’t care for our friendship. It’s merely human. However, we need to look at things in a balanced way. I’ve gradually learned not to wear my heart on my sleeve. Remember, not everyone is going to like you. You’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and not everyone will be your cup of tea either. In the end that’s perfectly okay.

 

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34 Comments

  1. July 24, 2016 / 9:20 am

    This reminded me of the quote “I’d rather be someone’s glass of champagne than everyone’s cup of tea”! You just can’t please everyone so you might as well live as true to yourself as you possibly can, even if that can be hard too sometimes! Xx

    http://www.thefashionfolks.com

    • July 24, 2016 / 11:03 am

      I agree with you! We should be the best individuals that we can.

  2. July 24, 2016 / 10:34 am

    That’s a great lesson. We don’t need everyone to like us anyway! I think people pass judgement on someone before they get to know them, which is probably what made you feel uncomfortable and sad in the start. I think that if your co-worker really wanted to be nice and get to know you before she judged you, then she would have said hello etc. in the start. Just my opinion!

    Heba xx || The Heba

    • July 24, 2016 / 11:08 am

      Thank you so much for your thoughts. Yes, it would have been nice if she had warmed up to me. However, not all personalities will be best friends. Although it’s hard to swallow, in the end it’s okay.

    • July 24, 2016 / 9:03 pm

      Yes! If we could remember and apply this important life lesson then our relationships with others would be so much better.

  3. July 25, 2016 / 5:53 am

    What a great write up. I am a teacher too and I had thesame experience last school year. I checked with the person to make sure I haven’t done anything to offend her, and when she said no. I moved on. I continue to be the first to say hi. But she began to greet me first on occasion towards the end of the school year.
    What l realized at the end of the day was, it wasn’t about me she just had some personal issue.
    Don’t take it personal just know “you are not everyone cup of tea”

    • July 25, 2016 / 6:14 am

      Yes! I’m so glad the words of this post struck and cord with you the same as it did with me. It’s so easy to feel that we are the cause of someone’s “standoffish” behavior when really it has nothing to do with us at all. It has hard not to take it personal, but in order to keep going must realize that not everyone is going to click with us.

  4. July 25, 2016 / 8:07 am

    Great words and insight. That hardest thing to do is not let insecurities prey on us in these kind of situations, especially if you’re the type that wants everyone to like you *guilty*! Thanks for the reminder to not take it personal, just continue to be a loving and inviting person.

    Meaghan xx

    • July 25, 2016 / 11:23 pm

      It is so easy it take it personally. Far to easy. I think that’s why so many of us found there words so encouraging! Thank you for taking the time to stop by.

  5. July 25, 2016 / 9:29 am

    You are speaking the truth my dear!!! I bet you are an awesome teacher as well!! I love this look! XO

  6. July 25, 2016 / 9:42 am

    I had to read this post based on the title alone!! I can’t even describe how much I can relate to you and you how you felt with both women. I am such a girls’ girl and when one doesn’t care for me or treat me the way I treat them it completely eats at me. I even go through a phase where I will overly kill them with kindness and tell myself “they will like me no matter what”. Bottom line, like you said, we aren’t everyone’s cup of tea BUT, like you, I discovered when I go through something like this, I have found almost 99% of the time it is because of something going on in their lives and has nothing to do with me. So, then I laugh at myself for being so darn selfish, hahaha

    GREAT post!!

    xoxo
    Tiffani
    http://www.tiffaniatbretonbay.com

    • July 25, 2016 / 11:25 pm

      It to easy to be selfish isn’t it? We’really only human and humans are social beings. I think it’s good to acknowledge our insecurities, but we need to be the master over them, and not let them rule us.

  7. July 25, 2016 / 9:55 am

    Great advice! And I love the outfit too! So sweet!

    Xo, Amanda | The Golden Girl Diary

  8. July 25, 2016 / 10:24 am

    This was such a great article and a great reminder. I really enjoyed this read <3

    XOXO,

    Kim

    simpleyetchic.com

    • July 25, 2016 / 7:51 pm

      I’m so glad you enjoyed it.

  9. July 25, 2016 / 6:59 pm

    I love this insightful post! You really can’t force someone to like you, and it doesn’t matter. You just got to learn how to value those who do!

    Abby | Life in the Fash Lane

    • July 25, 2016 / 7:51 pm

      Yes, there are people who are “your people” and it’s good to value them as much as they value you.

  10. July 26, 2016 / 2:35 pm

    Girl I hear ya! This has been SUCH a difficult concept for me to grasp. I consider myself friendly and want everyone to like me; however, it doesn’t always work out that way. beautifully written
    xx, Lo {www.rosesandrainboots.com}

  11. July 28, 2016 / 7:35 am

    Love this post ! Your adorable ! Love love your jean jacket.

    • July 30, 2016 / 3:53 pm

      Thank you! I’m glad you found it encouraging! My jacket is from Loft. I love the cut and fit.

  12. July 29, 2016 / 8:13 pm

    This was such a fantastic read! Its such an important lesson to learn, we don’t need everyone to like us!

    • July 30, 2016 / 3:51 pm

      Thank you! It’s a hard lesson to remember as well.

  13. July 30, 2016 / 7:22 pm

    Great post! I have experienced this is well and it’s not fun. But your attitude is a good one to have!

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